What Humans Do
by ManchesterSide
Summary: Cas moves in. Established destiel. Rated M for later chapters mostly.
1. Chapter 1

Dean initially thought he hated the long drive from Castiel's house. The drive there was certainly stressful. The traffic was terrible. The people in their fancy cars drove too slow for vehicles with that amount of power. He constantly worried about being pulled over by highway patrol for his reckless disregard of the speed limit. He could hear the music coming from his stereo but rarely enjoyed it. He would pick a song he loved only to find three minutes had passed with no recollection of hearing any of the lyrics. Those were the drives to Castiel's house and he always dreaded them. The drive home was a different experience. He loved the atmosphere that surrounded night driving. Three in the morning and he felt alone on the highway. He drove as fast as he dared push his car while singing along to all of his favorites. There was a permanent smile when he thought about the freedom he had this late at night. The freedom to change lanes and know without looking that there was no one there. The ability to take corners faster than he should for the pure joy that came from handling his car. Tonight was especially good he thought. He had been over at Cas' house for three days straight. The only reason he was going home now was because he had worn through all of his clothing and Cas had things to do in the morning. Dean had asked what things but Cas had been vague and dodgy on the subject. Dean scowled for a minute as he scanned the road considering how far his exit still was. He didn't like it when people he cared about hid things from him. Sure, it made him a hypocrite because he lived in a constant state of denial and refused to talk about things but he didn't care. Hypocrisy be damned. He probably had angel duties to attend to and didn't want to bore Dean with the details he reasoned. For the first time in all his drives home he wondered why Cas couldn't have chose a house closer to him or why he chose to live apart from Dean at all. A question he would have to remember to ask Cas the next time he went over. Before this three day reprieve it had been two weeks since Dean had seen him and a long two weeks it had been. He had practically ripped Cas' clothes off of him when he walked in the door. Cas had barely gotten the "Hello Dean" from his mouth before Dean was crushing their lips together, his hands behind Cas' neck holding him in place so he couldn't escape. Cas had let out a small chuckle that made Dean pause for a moment. He prompted Cas to explain with a twitch of his eyebrows.

"I missed you too." He said simply with a shrug of his shoulders and all of Dean's composure disappeared. The memory of pinning Cas to the bed while he begged Dean to fuck him gave Dean a sinful smile. Those three days of comfort, security, and sex should hold him over for at least a week. At least he hoped it would hold him over. He hated these long periods devoid of Cas. It wouldn't be so bad if the angel knew how to work a cellphone properly. Heaven probably didn't get reception anyway, Dean thought grumpily. Dean was always unhappy when he thought about Cas in heaven.

Fifteen minutes later and he was pulling onto his street and parking in front of his house. The lights were off because Sam was still away on a hunting trip. After promising that he would call Cas at the first sign of trouble, Dean agreed to let Sam go away on his own. Sam had grumbled something about "being a grown man" before slipping into his own car and driving away. If it hadn't been for the angelic distraction Dean would have spent the entire week worrying. As it was he was calling Sam every five hours for updates. He trusted Sam but he was one of the only two family members he had in the world. He couldn't help his overbearing nature. He heaved a sigh while unlocking the front door. He was alone again and who knew for how long this time. The noise his keys made when he dropped them into the ceramic bowl next to the door taunted him. It echoed through the empty rooms and had Dean sinking into a quick depression. He wished he knew how to be comfortable being alone. Luckily he was exhausted enough that one beer was sure to send him into a coma. He shed his shoes by the front door and padded to the kitchen in his socks. The fridge was full of healthy food he would never touch and all of his beer and meat in the bottom left drawer. He grabbed a beer and twisted off the top before settling down to drink away his discomfort for the night.

He woke the next morning to a voicemail from Sam and a text from Cas. The text simply said "Good Morning :)" but it made Dean smile in spite of himself nonetheless. Sam's voicemail was wordy and full of advice about how Dean shouldn't worry. Dean rolled out of bed and immediately started planning the day in his head. He knew that if he didn't keep busy he was bound to start feeling sorry for himself. The silent empty house would begin to drive him crazy. He turned the water in the shower on. Waiting for the water to warm up he looked in the mirror at his features. He looked older than he remembered but the bags under his eyes that were a permeant feature for the longest time were no longer there. He stepped into the shower and adjusted the water to a temperature his skin could stand. He grabbed the soap and began to work the suds into this skin. The memory of his last shower ebbed into his mind. Cas had planted kisses on every area Dean cleaned. The attention had made Dean's cock hard and he had leaned Cas against the shower wall. He nibbled on Cas' neck and felt fingers run through his hair. It wasn't until shampoo ran down his face that he realized Cas' was washing his hair for him while they kissed. Cas always was great at multitasking, an art Dean never really mastered. He found it hard to concentrate on cleaning himself with a wet and naked Cas wrapped around him. The memory of that shower and the events that followed made Dean aroused. In his mind Cas whispered dirty things in his ear before pulling it into his mouth. Dean wrapped a hand around his quickly hardening cock. His morning cleansing rituals would have to wait.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean woke up to find his arm draped across a warm body and a very content looking angel watching him.

"Please tell me you haven't been staring all night?" Dean said groggily attempting to resist snuggling into Cas. Some mornings he had to remind himself that he was a grown adult who didn't need cuddles no matter how good they made him feel.

"Just a couple hours. I pretended to sleep for most of the time" Cas answered him.

"Why didn't you just leave? I wouldn't have known" Dean asked him. Cas frowned slightly when Dean rolled over so they were no longer touching.

" There wasn't anywhere to go." Cas answered as if it was the simplest conclusion.

"Well not for nothing but a good boyfriend would have flown off and found me pancakes while I slept" Dean remarked with fake sass. When he felt the weight of the bed change he called out "Wait! No! Cas! I was just joking". Before he had more than a moment to feel guilty that the angel had taken him seriously Cas was back in bed with a tray of food on his lap.

"Cas! I was kidding!" Dean laughed exasperated. "And those do not look like pancakes"

"You are quite observant." Cas said attempting sarcasm. "They are crepes" he finished awkwardly when Dean said nothing.

"Why not pancakes?" Dean asked

"It is important to experience new things Dean" Cas answered.

"And here I was thinking fucking an angel would be enough new experience to last me a lifetime" Dean replied with a teasing smile. Cas did not look amused.

"If you don't want to eat them..." Cas trailed off.

"No! I mean" Dean picked up a fork "I'll try them. They sort of look like really flat pancakes anyway." He cut away a piece and popped it in his mouth quickly receiving a small approving smile from Cas in response.

"Hey, these are not terrible. Where did you get them?" Dean asked

"France" Cas answered. Dean choked on his half chewed bite of crepe.

"France?! You went to France for my breakfast? Why?" Dean practically yelled.

"I wanted to be a good boyfriend." Cas answered. Dean smiled in response. There were a few moments of comfortable silence while Dean chewed his food.

"Do you want some?" Dean asked when he noticed Cas staring at him.

"I'm not sure." Cas said quizzically.

"Explain?" Dean prompted.

"I do not feel hunger but the smell is enticing" Cas answered. Dean handed his fork over. Cas took the smallest bite possible in Dean's opinion. He chewed contemplatively as if analyzing every single ingredient. A smile of approval crossed his face.

"These are delicious. I am an excellent boyfriend" Cas said

"You really are." Dean agreed before planting a light kiss on Cas' lips.

"There is something I've been meaning to ask you though." Dean said tentatively continuing to eat his breakfast.

"Yes?" Cas asked. Dean chewed his food throughly before asking

"Why did you choose to live, you know, here" He waved his hands around to indicate the general space they were occupying.

"You mean because I technically have no need for a house since I am not human?" Cas asked.

"Well yeah but, I mean, why don't you just stay with me whenever you step away from Heaven?" Dean said

Cas stared at Dean for a minute with his eyebrows knitted close together.

"It is customary for humans to have homes is it not?" Cas asked him finally.

"Yeah. It is." Dean answered. He looked down at his hands before continuing "I guess I just wondered why your home isn't with me" he said sheepishly

"I have studied human mating rituals and in this culture the couple normally starts out in separate houses before moving in together over time. I thought I was following the rules" Cas answered quickly.

"Oh." was all Dean could reply

"You have also told me I do not respect your personal space. I thought this house would be better suited for that purpose" Cas continued to explain.

"This is..." Dean paused "too..much space" he finished. Dean wished he was brave enough to take his eyes off his breakfast and look at Cas' reaction but he wasn't.

"I see." Cas said after a few moments "How do we rectify this?" he asked Dean. Dean smiled and looked up before replying "Move in with me"

"I believe that would solve the problem" Cas replied

"Is that a yes?" Dean questioned

"Yes" Cas answered

"Awesome." Dean said simply before finishing the last of the crepes.


	3. Chapter 3

"How can someone who is a celestial wave of light own so many things?" Dean asked incredulously to the room at large. He was currently packing a waffle iron in a box.

"Dean, I could easily move all of these things by myself. You did not need to help" Cas answered.

"I know but I want to do human things with you Cas." Dean said softly.

"Why in the world would you ever want to help anyone move?" Sam asked behind a stack of boxes he was bringing to the truck.

"What can I say? I had a craving for normalcy." Dean explained.

"Could you have possibly left me out of your craving?" Sam asked.

"Nope" Dean answered before Sam walked out of the room.

"Dean, this is really unnecessary and slow" Cas complained as he lifted a box.

"You were the one who wanted to experiment with humanity. This is what humans do."

"Humans sometimes hire people to move for them" Cas reasoned

"Yes, humans that aren't poor, which we are" Dean explained

"You could hire me" Cas said shyly. Dean looked over to watch Cas pick up a blender, inspect its various buttons and place in the half filled box he was working on.

"Oh yeah? And how much would you charge?" Dean flirtatiously asked

Cas immediately brought his hand up to cup the back of his neck. His chin touched his shoulder and he quietly said "I believe the term is sexual favors"

"You are one dirty angel" Dean said with a teasing grin. Dean set the toaster he had been packing down to cross the kitchen and wrap his his hands around Cas' waist. Dean pulled Cas into him so that their stomachs were touching.

"What kind of sexual favors did you have in mind" Dean whispered in a rough voice. Dean didn't give Cas a chance to answer. His lips met Cas' and he felt Cas melt into him. He worked his hands up Cas' back and pulled him in closer, deepening the kiss. He was getting lost in Cas again. It amazed him that after months of being together the world still dropped away when they came in contact. Dean would never admit it but it drove him crazy when he could smell Castiel on his skin after they touched. The smell was clean and raw and powerful. Dean couldn't even name it but if he ever managed to bottle it, he knew it would make them rich. The feel of Cas' tongue on the inside of his mouth made him hyperaware of his skin and how heavy his clothes felt. Suddenly Cas was pulling away from him. Dean groaned in disappointment.

"What?"

"Heaven. My presence is needed" Cas answered

"Right now? But...we are moving" Dean said while he raised his arms up and looked around the room.

"I will be back as soon as possible. I promise" Cas said. Without waiting for Dean's assenting "Yeah, okay, whatever" Cas flew off. Dean contemplated forgetting about moving until Cas came back but that could be days. He knew the physical exertion of hauling boxes would work off his frustration. He knew that Cas' couldn't control when Heaven sent for him but the lack of stability annoyed Dean. He sealed the box he was working on after throwing a few random utensils inside. He looked around for a moment to note what he still had to do. The kitchen was packed but the living room and bathrooms were only halfway finished. He grabbed a box and walked into the living room intending to load some things in the truck. He almost dropped what he was holding when he saw that the living room was completely void of possessions. "Cas" he mumbled angrily under his breath. He walked quickly through the house to check the truck. It was neatly packed full of boxes. Before Cas' flew off he took the time to load the truck completely.

"Really?" he sighed and cast his eye upward. He turned around and walked back in the house. He knew there was no need to double check the angel's work but he figured if Cas was watching him it would irritate him which suited Dean fine. Dean made note of every room he passed. Finally he reached the bedroom. He pushed the door open and was shocked to find a room full of things needing to be packed. Maybe Cas was losing his touch. Or maybe he knew I wanted something labor intensive to work off frustration Dean thought. Dean could barely hide his grin at the idea that Cas could know him so well. It had the unfortunate side effect of melting his frustration. He tried to think of what had made him angry in the first place. Heaven demanding Cas' attention all of the time was frustrating but even more so was that Cas let them pull his strings. Dean began slowly picking things up and tossing them into an open box in the middle of the room.

"An alarm clock? Really Cas? You don't even sleep" he said aloud to the empty room.

An hour later and Dean was driving the moving van full of Cas' possession to his house. Sam had already drove the Impala back and was waiting for Dean's arrival so they could unload and finish this moving nightmare. Dean was heavily regretting his choice to decline Cas' offer to move everything in one quick angelic sweep.

"Hello Dean" a voice sounded from his right. Dean swerved and almost died in the hideous moving vehicle.

"Damn Cas. Haven't we talked about surprising me while I'm driving" Dean said with his teeth clenched.

"I announced my presence in the customary human fashion" Cas replied in a way that Dean knew meant he didn't understand why he was being scolded.

"You could have killed me" Dean huffed

"At the current speed you are going that is highly improbable" Cas replied

Dean shot him a look before asking "What did Heaven want?"

"There is highly suspicious demonic activity happening in Nevada. They suggested I ask one of the Winchesters to investigate" Cas answered.

"They suggested huh?" Dean asked sardonically

Cas ignored the implication and said "I thought we might ask Sam since we still have to finish unpacking"

"I don't like the idea of him going on a holy mission alone." Dean said

"Dean, Sam is completely capable of hunting alone" Cas placated

"I know. I trust him. It's just these angels with ulterior motives I have a hard time trusting" Dean explained.

"Do you trust me?" Cas asked timidly

"Yes" Dean replied.

"I promise that Sam will be fine" Cas said with a small smile on his face.

A/N Someone owes me their first born.


	4. Chapter 4

"Dean. We have been moving for three hours now. Can I please finish this?" Cas whined

"Nope." Dean answered simply. "There are only a few more loads. Maybe next time you'll think before buying so much crap" Dean moved inside the house and placed the box labeled bedroom on the floor. Cas walked in with another box in his hands, his eyes focusing intently on the brown packaging. A suspicion suddenly weighed heavily on Dean's mind. He quickly walked back outside only to find himself staring at an empty truck. He walked back inside.

"Cas?" he called keeping the anger from his tone.

"Yes Dean?" Cas replied from the kitchen in a sickly sweet voice. Dean made his way to the kitchen.

"I can't help but notice the truck is empty"

"Did we finish already?" Cas asked innocently while picking at the tape on the box he was unpacking.

Dean shook his head lightly before laughing at Cas' attempts for innocence.

"Somebody must have used their mojo to unload the last few boxes" Dean said slyly while crossing the room.

"Who could have done that?" Cas asked. Dean stood in front of Cas and put his hands on his hips before whispering "I'm not sure. Might be a ghost." Dean leaned forward and brought his lips right below Cas' ear. He felt Cas shudder and move into him.

"Should I unpack the salt?" Cas mimicked Dean's husky tone and moved his own arms to lay over Dean's shoulders. Dean squeezed Cas' hips and planted light kisses on his lips. In between a kiss he managed "It seems like a friendly ghost". Cas let out a small gasp as Dean backed them into a counter. Dean placed a hand on the side of Cas' neck and pulled him into a deep kiss. Need seared through Dean's skin. His fingers began to ache with a longing he never quite got over. No matter how many times Dean was with Cas it never seemed to be enough. He felt his stomach drop when Cas broke apart their kiss to moan his name.

"Yeah Cas?" he asked moving his hands over Cas' chest.

"I think" Cas paused as Dean moved his hands to unbutton the slacks he was wearing.

"Hmm?" Dean prompted continuing his kisses down Cas' neck. Cas was obviously having trouble forming thoughts with Dean nibbling on his skin. Feeling sympathetic for a moment Dean paused and laid his head on Cas' shoulder.

"The ghost might have put the living room together. The couches in particular seem to be free of boxes" Cas finished. Dean smiled slightly understanding the hint. He stepped away from Cas and turned to walk into the living room. The living room was clear of all boxes and Dean pretended to get angry for a moment. "I planned to spend the entire afternoon getting the house in order. What am I supposed to do now?" he asked as Cas stepped into the living room.

"I can think of a few things" Cas breathed as he slipped his hands around Dean's waist.

"Oh yeah?" Dean asked.

"Yes" Cas replied before pushing Dean onto the couch. Cas quickly climbed on top so he was straddling Dean.

"And here I thought you meant painting the upstairs bathroom" Dean laughed as Cas slipped his hands under Dean's shirt. His breath caught as Cas' fingers spread lightly over his nipples. Dean let out a small chuckle under his breath.

"What?" Cas asked while he trailed kisses down Dean's neck. Dean wondered if he should respond. Coming to a decision he breathed "I was just thinking, I am going to fuck you so hard". He waited a moment to watch Cas' reaction. A smile and head nod later he was pulling Cas into him and kissing him hard. He felt his teeth scrape harshly against Cas' mouth but he was filled with too much desire to care. Breaking apart only to remove both of their shirts, Dean began clawing desperately at Cas. Cas responded by grinding his hips roughly into Dean. He let out a small gasp at the friction that was happening on top of his cock. He didn't want to wait any longer. He wanted Cas' thrown over the back of this couch they were currently occupying. He gave Cas' a light tap on the ass before feigning an upward movement. Understanding what Dean wanted Cas quickly climbed off of him. In the few seconds it took to walk around the couch both men had stripped themselves of pants. Cas made a movement to bend over the back of the couch before Dean stopped him. "Cas wait." Cas tilted his head in response.

"Get on your knees for me?" he requested with a hint of demand. Cas looked at him with a small smile and dropped to his knees at once. Dean let out a gasp as Cas flicked his tongue down the length of his shaft. Cas brought his tongue to the slit of Dean's cock and teased. "Mhm Cas" Dean groaned in response. Cas pulled the head of Dean's cock into his mouth and sucked but made no move to pull him further in.

"You tease" Dean moaned. Without warning Cas took Dean all the way into his mouth. Dean could feel Cas move his tongue under his shaft while he moved his mouth up and down. After a few moments Dean stopped him "Stop, get on the couch". Cas listened and bent over the back of the couch. Dean stared at the naked body in front of him and sucked in his bottom lip. Lube, he thought, I am probably going to need lube. As if Cas' knew his reason for hesitating a bottle of lube found its way into Dean's hand. Dean poured a generous amount on his middle and pointer fingers. He crossed the distance until he was standing behind Cas. Dean began placing kisses down Cas' back while he inserted two fingers. Cas let out a small gasp. Dean worked slowly, pulling out only when Cas' was pushing back into him for more. He grabbed the lube once more and let it drip over his hard cock. He slathered and then lined himself up with Cas' ass which had became even more enticing in the few moment the lube had taken. He pushed himself into Cas quickly and heard his angel let out a painful moan. He pulled out and thrust back in slowly, waiting for Cas' to become comfortable. A few moments passed and Cas' was moaning in pleasure the deeper Dean went. Dean sped up and quicker than he would like to admit his thrusting became erratic. He could feel his orgasm in the back of his calves and behind his navel. Before he could slow himself down Cas' was tightening his muscles and Dean was cumming. He panted and moaned as he rode out the waves of pleasure. Dean draped himself over Cas' back and took a moment to regain his breath. While he did this he noticed that Cas' was squirming underneath him. Dean smirked and pushed himself up. Quickly he grabbed Cas' hips and made him turn over. Cas' cock was leaking precum and he could barely support himself. Immediately Dean dropped to his knees and took Cas' cock into his mouth. He ran his hands up the back of the thighs that were now shaking. He heard Cas' moan his name as he flicked his tongue around. Cas brought his hand up to grab the area of Dean's collarbone. With no other warning the grip tightened and Dean tasted the salty cum that was dripping out of Cas. Dean swallowed and stepped back. Cas let his weight carry him to the other side of the sofa and he laid there panting. "Good one?" Dean asked.

Cas replied with a small "Yes."


	5. Chapter 5

A week later and Dean was still avoiding boxes. He reached his breaking point when in the middle of the night he stumbled over a box he had forgotten was outside the bedroom door in his haze. He swore under his breath while he walked to the kitchen. Heaven had called for Cas once again and Dean had just returned from a trip to the desert to help Sam finish the case there. There simply had not been enough time to finish unpacking though Cas had once again offered to do the whole thing in one fail angelic swoop. Dean had resisted and was now inwardly cursing his stubbornness. He did not need another reminder that his boyfriend was an all powerful being. He filled a cup with water and started to make his way back into his room when Cas' voice sounded from behind him.

"Hello Dean" he said simply. Dean nearly spilled his water jumping at the shock. He could not explain the sudden anger he felt directed towards Cas. Perhaps it was that his toe was still throbbing or he had woke up feeling displeased but he let out a harsh "What?"

Cas looked taken aback at Dean's harshness. Dean felt a small amount of shame but was still angry.

"Why are you awake at this hour?" Cas asked him tentatively.

"Water" Dean replied gruffly and turned away from Cas' now pleading eyes.

"Dean..is there something the matter?" Cas asked clearly confused by Dean's cold nature. Dean could practically hear Cas going over the last time they had seen each other in his mind searching for any explanation for Dean's behavior. Dean wasn't going to help him though. If Cas didn't know why he was upset then that was his problem. But then, Dean wondered, why am I so upset?

"No." Dean answered shortly.

"Your tone seems to imply otherwise" Cas said slowly. Suddenly words were falling into Dean's head that he wasn't even aware he was thinking until he was yelling them at Cas.

"You've been in Heaven for over a week now and I haven't heard from you once. And since I've been home all I have done is trip over these damn boxes. Boxes...that are full of things you don't even really need. That you just bought to feel more human right? Well you know what isn't human Cas? Disappearing into the clouds for a week straight." Dean paused for a moment. He looked at Cas and noticed his eyes were narrowed.

"Dean, you know I have obligations to the other angels." Cas said calmly as though it fixed the issue. Cas' stoic expression sent Dean further into a rage. He wanted Cas to scream and get angry at him but he didn't.

"Yeah Cas" Dean nearly exploded "But you also have obligations to me" Cas did not reply. He simply stared at Dean. Dean balled his fist and could feel his short nails digging into his skin. His normal reaction when he was this angry would be to physically overpower whatever was causing his anger but even in his rage he knew it would be foolish to attack Cas. Aside from breaking his own hand he knew Cas would take the attack too personally. To alleviate some of the anger he turned around and threw the glass he was still holding in his hand against the wall. It shattered and immediately Dean thought it was a very stupid thing to do. He would have to clean that up later but he didn't care. He wanted Cas to understand how angry he was. He wanted more than anything to provoke a reaction, to see Cas flinch. When he turned back around to face Cas though the features were expressionless. Dean decided to bellow on hoping once more to provoke the angel.

"You can't just go flying off anytime those ass monkeys you call family call for you. They are using you Cas. Pulling your strings and you're too stupid or blind to see it." This last sentence finally gave Dean the satisfaction he was looking for. Anger flashed through Cas' cold blue eyes. He squared his shoulders back and unblinkingly stared at Dean.

"You do not command me. You are just a man" Cas said and every syllable rang as warning signs in Dean's head.

"I am not here for your convenience" Cas continued and he too looked as though he was restraining himself physically. Though, Dean thought, in Cas' case he was obviously trying not to hurt Dean. This thought angered him even more. That Cas thought he should restrain himself that Dean was the weaker of the two. Quickly he crossed the kitchen and stood in front of Cas, towering down at the slightly shorter man. Warning signs rang in his head again. He was pushing Cas too far but he didn't care. He wanted the angel to snap, to physically harm him. He wanted to prove that he could take any punishment Cas threw at him.

"Step back Dean" Cas warned

"No" He replied and brought his hands up to Cas' chest and shoved him. Cas allowed himself to stumble back away from Dean. Again, he was weakening himself for Dean's sake. Dean once again filled the space in front of Cas and moved to shove him again. This time though it was like trying to shove a boulder that was strongly attached to a cliff face. Cas did not tell him to stop but he did not move. Dean took a step back and balled his fist. He barely stopped himself from throwing the punch. Cas stared at Dean and recognized that he was close to hitting him.

"Don't" he warned simply. The cold calculation drove Dean mad and in an act of defiance he brought his arm back and threw a punch. His fist made contact with Cas' jaw. Immediately pain shot through his arm. Cas was stood unmoving though a new hurt was in his eyes. Quickly rage replaced the emotion there and he placed his hand on Dean' chest.

"That is enough" he said before he lightly pushed Dean away from him. Although the push was light it sent Dean flying back and he fell into the glass he had broken early. He heard a sound of wings and when he looked up Cas was no longer in the kitchen.

"Yeah runaway like you always do. You coward!" Dean shouted at the ceiling. "Fuck" he muttered quietly under his breath when he noticed his left hand was bleeding. A chunk of the glass was sticking out of his skin. He hesitated a moment not wanting to remove the glass because the pain was a welcome distraction from his anger. After a moment he grasped the glass and pulled it away from his skin, sucking breath in with a small cry of pain. Anger ebbed away from him. Guilt replaced it almost immediately. He had done everything to provoke Cas. He was just worried. Dean knew that was the reason he had been so angry but that was so much harder for him to express. He got up from the floor and went to put his now freely bleeding hand under running water. He thought about calling Cas back but the cry died in his throat. He couldn't.


	6. Chapter 6

Three days later and Dean still could not swallow his pride and call Cas to him. He had started and stopped a number of times. He wanted to make things right but he couldn't find the words. He knew Cas would not come back until he called but it was beyond difficult for him to reach out. Fighting with Cas had left him in a foul mood and Sam had been bugging him about it for the past two days. He would not tell Sam that he was upset because he was mean to his boyfriend and now they weren't talking. He just didn't think Sam would let him forget it. Dean gripped the wheel of the Impala with his right hand. His left was still swollen from the cut. His right remained relatively uninjured yet he had sprained his wrist when he hit Cas. Secretly he thought he deserved this pain. He knew he shouldn't have pushed Cas. He knew that in healthy relationships one partner does not beat the other. Every time a twinge of pain came from either of his hands he couldn't help but think "good". He had only been awake for forty minutes today before the memories of the fight came flooding into his mind. He had crossed to the fridge to pull out a beer only to find it empty. He had bought a case last night but then he had been drinking. He couldn't remember clearly enough how many he had but he doubted it was twenty four. The beer went missing and rather than look for it or count his empties he got into his car and started driving towards the store. It was just past noon when he stepped into the parking lot. Dean thought briefly of the judgmental stares he was bound to get when he walked out of the store with a fifth of whiskey before deciding he didn't care. His need to get wasted far outweighed his desire to seem acceptable. He hunted monsters these normal people could never dream up who cares what they thought anyway he reasoned with himself. He stepped through the blast of air conditioning and made an immediate left. He had been at this same store only last night and knew that the liquor was in the back left. He walked through the security gates designed to scare younger people. The back wall was lined with an open fridge full of different beers. Dean walked past the wine in the middle and made for the hard liquor. He picked the biggest bottle of Jim Beam off the shelf and turned to retreat to the front of the store. Before he passed the security gates he paused for a moment. He looked down at the bottle in his hand. Was this enough to keep him sufficiently wasted for the rest of the day he thought. Surely a couple of beers to wash this down wouldn't hurt. He didn't have the time to start caring about his liver now. Not when Cas was upstairs floating around telling all his angel brothers about how his human boyfriend was shitty. No, his liver would have to suffer the consequences just like his hands. Carrying the large bottle was causing a small irritation in his cut hand but it didn't hurt enough in his opinion. He turned around and walked quickly to the back wall. He didn't even care what beer he drank. If it tasted horrible then good he deserved that too. He grabbed a six pack that was closest to him and didn't even bother to read the label. His wrist screamed at him when he held the weight of the beer in his right hand. He journeyed to the front of the store and stepped into a lane that had a younger looking male at the register. He dropped the liquor onto the conveyor belt and walked the few paces to the debit machine.

"Can I see your ID?" the cashier asked him. Dean screwed up his eyes and drew his wallet from the inside pocket of his coat. He couldn't remember that last time he had been carded but rather than feel flattered he felt annoyed at the nuisance. He fished one of the fakes out of his wallet and handed it over without saying a word though secretly he was hoping something terrible might randomly happen to this cashier. This was one more step between him and drunk and that was simply unacceptable.

"Thanks." the cashier handed the card back to Dean before making small talk

"Starting early I see." Dean had to resist the snarl that wanted to form on his face. Fuck this brat he thought but he replied with an easy lie.

"I am going to a party"

"Oh. Well that will be forty-five twenty-three" the cashier said. Quickly Dean swiped one of the fake credit cards he kept with him at all times. The transaction processed and Dean grabbed the bag filled with liquor and was stomping off before the cashier had a chance to hand him a receipt.

Dean slammed the door of the Impala shut after he threw the liquor onto the seat next to him. He felt the slam shudder through the whole vehicle. He didn't care about that though. Everything he loved was up for punishment at the moment. This car he expended so much effort and time into meant nothing. He didn't deserve to own anything so nice. He didn't even bother to put the liquor in the trunk. He almost hoped he got pulled over. He flipped the ignition and peeled out of the parking lot as fast as he could manage in the limited space. He sped the entire drive home. He barely glanced at the speedometer. He couldn't care how fast he was going. He couldn't care about anything. Unfortunately, he thought, there had been no cops on the stretch of road home. He had been pushing ninety by the time he slammed on the breaks to pull into the driveway. He grabbed the bag of liquor and stepped outside the car. He hadn't made it three steps before he was pulling the top of the bourbon and taking a swig. He felt the burn all the way to his stomach. He unlocked the door and found everything was how he had left it an hour ago. The boxes from the move fueled his desire to drown himself in the sweet release of intoxication. He downed another mouthful before he reached the fridge. He placed the beer inside the nearly empty middle shelf and turned to the cabinet with glasses. He pulled the only highball glass he had down from the shelf and poured a generous amount of bourbon into the glass. A small amount spilled on his hand. He brought the hand to his lips and slowly licked the liquor clean. A memory of Cas taking his fingers into his mouth flashed through his mind. They were sitting on the couch watching a campy B-rated movie. Cas was dragging his fingers up and down Dean's arm. He was trying to avoid sighing contently at the attention when Cas drew his index finger into his mouth. He let out a small gasp of surprise at the sudden hot wetness that surrounded his finger. The shock was quickly replaced with a flash of need. He watched Cas teasingly draw his tongue on the underside of Dean's finger and had to draw his bottom lip into his mouth to avoid flipping their positions and mounting Cas. The memory brought a sour taste to Dean's lips. They were so whole, so satisfied to be with each other but that was before, before Dean had fucked things up. He drained his glass and poured himself another helping. He wanted to sit down but he couldn't bare to sit in the living room on the couch that held all of the memories of Cas. He glanced around the kitchen and the memory of their fight came flooding back to him. He stared at the far left wall in disgust feeling it was solely responsible for the shattering glass. He couldn't stay in the kitchen either he realized. It too reminded him too much of his guilt, of the terrible things he had said and done. He grabbed the glass and walked out the back door on the far side of the kitchen. He was beginning to feel alcohol at the edges of his vision. He walked a few feet and sat down. The backyard was empty. There was dirt and a fence twenty feet away. He had planned to spend a few weeks transforming the yard. He had even thought briefly of purchasing a jacuzzi. Dean didn't think about those plans now though. He tried very hard to think of nothing, to let the liquor take over his mind. Quietly he raised the glass to his lips and finished another drink. He heard nature sounding around him and quickly grew agitated. The world had no right to continue turning while he was barely holding himself together. He knew he could solve this entire problem by calling Cas and apologizing but then he began to wonder if Cas would forgive him. If he could manage to apologize, if he could find the right words to express his overwhelming guilt was it even possible that Cas would forgive him, Dean wondered. He felt his eyes grow heavy and closed them briefly. The rest of the world dropped away. Dean couldn't hear anything but his own breathing. A warmth was spreading through his body. He laid back onto the dirt. His limbs felt heavy and he tried to open his eyes once more with no success. A darkness was surrounding him. A blissful moment where he didn't have to think but only had to feel the delayed reaction of his body. Before he knew it he was drifting into an almost paralyzed state. He was still aware of his body yet he felt disassociated. After what felt like an eternity he fell asleep.

Hours later Dean woke with a start at the sudden temperature change. What had been a warm sunny day had changed into a cold wind. Disconcerted he glanced around. He was still in the backyard. His back felt like he had slept on a rough rock. He twisted his hips to the left and looked beneath him, there was a small rock under him. For a moment he wondered how he could have fallen asleep outside before the drinking flooded his memory. He had about six shots in twenty minutes on an empty stomach. No wonder he had fallen asleep. Given the position of the sun he must have been asleep for three or four hours. He felt a small throb at the back of his skull and wondered why he had punished himself so much. The memories of the last four days flooded his mind once again and he muttered a small "Oh". He got to his feet slowly and thought longingly of a shower. He turned and entered the house. It was quiet. He walked through the kitchen and made a dramatic left to his bedroom. Unconsciously he moved the right to avoid the box that was in front of his door but something was wrong. Dean looked at the floor and noticed the path was clear. Dean laced his hands around the back of his neck and thought about the last time he had seen the box. It had definitely been there this morning. Dean could not recall moving it himself. The thought sent a panic through his chest. He turned around and stormed into the living room where he knew three boxes were lined up against the couch. He stopped short of the couch and looked around the entire room. There were no boxes anywhere. Dean turned in a small tight circle to make sure he wasn't missing any section of the room. The living room was empty aside from his own furniture. This didn't make any sense. He couldn't remember moving the boxes yet there was any in the room. He tried to recall what had happened when he came home from the store, if he had moved any boxes but he could remember nothing but drinking. There was only one explanation then. Cas had moved all of his things while Dean had slept off the alcohol. A sharp pain settled itself over Dean's chest at this realization. Unconsciously he moved his hand up to cover his heart and thought about what this meant. Was Cas finished with him? Was this the end of their relationship? Sure, Dean had been hesitant to apologize but this couldn't actually be the end of what they had, could it? He ran his fingers through his hair. He had to fix this. Pride be damned he couldn't lose Cas. He couldn't lose the only thing that made him feel safe, that made him feel whole. Quietly he breathed Cas' name

"...Cas?"

There was no reply.


	7. Chapter 7

Dean waited a moment in silence before testing again.

"Cas?" he called again a bit louder. Still there was no response. He had expected Cas to come immediately when he called but he was the only one in the living room.

"Come on man, please?" he begged. The room remained undisturbed. Dean had to resist the urge to check the other rooms. There was a chance that Cas was busy performing some angel related task but this disregard felt different. It felt colder somehow.

"Castiel. Please. Come talk to me" exasperated Dean dropped his head into his hands. He knew he had fucked things up but he never imagined that Cas would move out, that he would ignore his calls. He sucked in a deep breath and tried unsuccessfully to keep the note of desperation from his voice.

"Cas? Don't leave it like this"

"I'm here Dean" Cas' voice sounded from behind Dean. Quickly he turned around to face Cas. The angel was staring determinedly at the floor. Suddenly all of the times he had failed to apologize seemed very silly. He had never thought losing Cas was really an option. The apology tumbled from his mouth before he had fully thought it out.

"Look. I am sorry. I can't take this..." he moved his hands in front of him indicating the state their relationship was currently in. Cas did not reply but continued staring at the floor.

"Cas?" Dean probed. Cas eyes flicked away from the floor and found Dean's for a moment. Dean noticed confusion before Cas managed to look away. He saw the shoulders hidden underneath the overcoat shrug.

"I was just worried. I hadn't heard from you in a week and things are different now that we have moved in together. I should have just said that but I am just not good at these things." Dean explained trying to make Cas understand.

"What are you trying to say Dean?" Cas asked with his head tilted to the side.

"That I am sorry, dammit, and you should bring your stuff back. I don't even know why you took it away in the first place" Dean almost shouted.

"I..thought we had broken up" Cas stumbled. Amazed Dean stared at Cas.

"What? How could you think that?" Dean asked

Cas hesitated a moment before replying "We fought"

Dean had a hard time resisting the urge to tilt his head in confusion.

"It was one fight Cas. People fight. It doesn't mean things are over" Dean explained

"But you've been drinking for the past three days. That is something that humans do when they end relationships, is it not?" Cas asked

"You saw me drinking?" Dean asked perplexed. He had assumed that Cas had spent the last three days in Heaven.

"I may have checked on you" Cas answered swinging his arms at his side awkwardly.

"Stalker. You are a stalker" Dean teased. Slowly he crossed the room until he was standing in front of Cas.

"Forgive me?" He asked while he put his hand under Cas' chin and pulled his head up. Their eyes met and Cas nodded slowly. A weight that Dean wasn't completely aware of lifted from his chest. He pulled Cas into a hug. After a few moments the tension that Cas was holding in his shoulders left and he leaned further into Dean. A sudden thought occurred to Dean "Did you steal my beer?" he asked pushing himself out of their embrace. Cas looked mildly embarrassed before explaining " Yes. You were drinking so much I was worried for your safety."

"You handled your concern much better than I did" Dean said with a hint of shame in his voice.

"I did not think a physical altercation would solve the problem" Cas explained. Dean chewed on the inside of his lip. He could not assuage his guilt.

"It is alright Dean. You did not hurt me..." he trailed off. Cas reached out and grabbed Dean's right hand and began to heal the gash.

"No. Stop" Dean exclaimed while trying to hide his wrist behind his back.

"Do not be foolish. Let me heal your other hand" Cas demanded. Cas made a move to grab Dean's arm. Dean had been expecting this though and quickly stepped out of range. Cas narrowed his eyes slowly and contemplated Dean. Before he could mount a protest Cas had disappeared and reappeared behind him. He felt hand clamp on his arm. A warmth spread through his fingers as he turned around. Cas let his arm drop. He rotated his wrist and noted a lack of pain. He frowned slightly at his healed hands.

"You shouldn't have done that" Dean said quietly

"You do not deserve that pain Dean. " Cas replied easily. Dean stared at the man in front of him. Without wording his guilt, Cas had known exactly what Dean was thinking. Dean thought back to their fight. He had squared off to Cas, a being who could kill him without thinking about it but he had not been afraid. He trusted Cas. Dean knew that even in a rage Cas would not hurt him. Dean smiled.

"Let's bring your things back" he suggested. He watched Cas smile and turn his head to the side. They could work, Dean thought.


End file.
